The Do's & Don't of Rhode Island in March

DO rent a car. 
Yes, yes.. I know that flying would have been so much easier but we decided to drive. 
---Thank you Delta Sigma Pi!!!!----
We were able to get the underage fee AND the second driver fee waved! The guys at Enterprise were like "We don't even get this kind of discount!"
Anyways, having this super cheap- yet best car either of us will drive in our entire lives- gave us a peace of mind that our pieces of junk wouldn't die on us in the middle of upstate New York. 

DO split up the trip.
9.5 hours is a bit much in one stretch. 

DO NOT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STAY AT A DAYS INN.
Believe me, I get it, $50 for the night is awesome.
Only problem is, because I was trained as a RA, I have been intimate with bed bugs.
--I didn't sleep a wink in fear that I would wake with them just crawling all over me! 
Katya helped eased my fears by making shadow puppet stories on the wall.. But, in all honestly I think we were a little contact high from the potent weed smoke coming from our lovely neighbors. 

DO rent on VRBO. 
-- It saves you a lot of money, plus you don't feel like you are just visiting.. You will get to experience living in pretty much the cutest little house of your life. We stayed here: https://www.vrbo.com/3754900ha Crystal, the owner is just about the sweetest lady we could have asked for! Plus she makes this KILLLLLEERRR chocolate chip pumpkin bread. Ugh, to die for. 
Another note: even if you don't find a place to stay on VRBO, get a hotel outside of the city, it's cheaper and you will be in the middle of everything. I mean it literally takes you 1 hour and 26 minutes to go from the north west side to the south east side of the state. --- We decided to take a "long" way home (a whole 8 minutes more) one day, and we had to go through Massachusetts! 

DO visit The Shanty in Warwick.
This little bar is soo cute and cozy.
I had a scrumptious 'Big O'le Burger' and that giant glass of Winter Sangria. 
Katya had cranberry vodka -- Potato Leek Soup and a side of mac and cheese. Soup good, mac - not so much. 

DO ask the locals what's what with the haps and such.
These two bartenders were just the nicest and fun girls to talk to. They told us all the bars we should visit to get the feel of Rhode Island night life. 
They described EVERYTHING as "wicked" 
It was absolutely hilarious. 
I honestly don't know the actual definition of the word anymore.
The cops on 95 are wicked, yet G Pub downtown is wicked as well. 
--Go to G Pub, Congress, Fatt Squirrel, and Fat Bellies--

Do NOT go to the bathroom in pairs. 
We have yet to find a public restroom that wasn't just a single toilet. Apparently everyone is poop shy in RI and needs not only their own stall but their own bathroom all together. 

DO stop by Goddard Memorial State Park. 
There is this little strip of beach at the edge of golf course that was so secluded and tranquil that we finally realized we weren't in Cleveland anymore. 

DO be prepared for the wind.
The breeze off the ocean is no joke. Layers, gloves, hats, those sort of things are a must. 

DOOOOOO go to Newport!
Shopping, jaw-dropping bridges, boats, great food and if you are lucky- Navy sailors. 

Do NOT get your hopes up about the Marines.
It's March.. they aren't just roaming around in the cold.
Katya and I are planning to move their when we are divorced 40 year olds and bag ourselves some Naval Officers. 

DO go to the Mokka Coffeehouse.
They put sprinkles on your hot chocolate!

DO go to O'Brien's. [Newport]


IF YOU DO NOTHING ELSE ON THIS LIST GO THERE AND ORDER THE PULLED PORK LOADED NACHOS. 


Nothing more heavenly will ever pass through your lips. ​


Plus they have that test-your-strength punching bag game.. and I mean, how can you resist that!?


--Even if it doesn't look like it's open.. it is. They open at noon.--

Do go the Cliff Walk. [Newport]
There is a 1/4 mile hike or a 2 mile hike. Do NOT be a sissy. Go on the 2 mile one. 
It's breath taking. I think we had a totally different experience in March than we would have in the summer. There were only a few other pairs of hikers, but it was secluded other than that. 
Take a breath. 
Listen to the waves crash into the rocks. It has an entirely different melody than that of the waves hitting sand. 

DO try and sneak and peak at the mansions that over look the sea.
If you can't get a good view, after your hike, drive down Bellevue Avenue and just drool and the houses-- some are open for tours. 

DO get a selfie-stick.
But, maybe learn how to use it.. So, your phone isn't full of pictures like these... 

DO have confidence. 
Climb the scary rocks.. take a sassy or goofy selfie.. enter the murder-y tunnel prepared to do battle with the vampire hobos you have concocted in your brain. Whatever tickles your fancy, do it with confidence. 

DO go to Anthony's. [Middletown]
The locals (multiple) said that Anthony's was the best year round lobster.
The only thing is.. go when you are in the mood for lobster.
We ordered the Snow Crab instead. But, that ish was GOOOOD. Like melt in your mouth, makes you want to order 6 more, good. 

DO go to Newport Creamery. [Warwick] 


I scream you scream we all scream for ice cream.-- It only took us 20 minutes after dinner, at which we stuffed ourselves to the brim, we started on our hunt for some sugar. 


Newport Creamery has an item on their menu.. --Oh the ice cream shop HAS A THREE PAGE MENU--called the Holy Cow. It is 10 scoops of ice cream of your choice. DO order that. Katya and I were too chicken to get it at the fear that we would actually finish it.. and then would have to live with that truth.

DO laugh at Rhode Islander's fear of the snow.
They have been "preparing" for this "snow storm" for TWO days!
Here's the dreadful result! 
--Side note, HUGE thank you to Chrystal for brushing off our car this morning. You have truly spoiled us--

DO visit Downtown Providence. 
It's just like Cleveland except it's a little more clean... you will feel right at home. 

DO visit Trinity Brewhouse. 
I had the Bison Patty Melt on a Pretzel bun.. with a 'Captain America' home-brewed beer.
Katya had the sweet potato and black-bean burger.. with an Oatmeal Stout.
Both pretty good in our opinion!
There is a mural in Trinity of famous musicians. Ask your friends to name them all.. Then you can tell if their "awesome taste in music" is actually.. awesome.. 

DO visit Brown University.
You will actually feel smarter going into the little shops and cafes on Thayer street. The level of stress in the air is palpable. 
--Blue State coffee is the place to get your caffeine fix.
And maybe hop on a tour of the campus.. imagine your life going to this college instead of the crappy place you got your worthless degree from.

DO eat at Rigatoni's. [Warwick]
The family style yumminess and hospitality. 
Plus, I mean.. look at that cake. 

Other tips. (From Katya)

Do buy a cheap bottle of wine (like $4.99 cheap) and dance to 2000's rap in your jammy-jams!

DO name your GPS so you can yell at them when you are frustrated.
Our's is named Barbara. That's who I was yelling at in my Snapstory (fyi)

Do NOT go to chain establishments.
There are way too many local establishments that make the trip worth while and memorable. 

DO remember that alcohol is not sold on Sundays.
Otherwise movie night will be ruined

The most important tip is to go on this adventure with someone you love. Someone who will put up with your anxiety, your habits, and your obnoxious ways. Someone who you aren't ready to kill after 4 days together. Someone who matches your wanderlustful soul. Your best friend. 

DO Visit Rhode Island. Just maybe not in March.